Soft Strenght

There is a strenght that isn't loud. It doesn't come from bracing harder or fighting more. It comes from staying soft - even when the world asks you to armor up.

For much of my life, I thought staying strong meant becoming tougher. Pushing through. Holding it all in. Never showing softness because softness felt dangerous.

But the body and the nervous system tell a different story.

True resilience lives in flexibility, not in armor.

When we harden, we block not only pain, but also connection, breath, and vitality. When we collapse, we lose the energy to stay engaged with life. But there's a middle space we can reclaim: Space of softening without giving up.

The Nervous System and Soft Strenght

In moments of overwhelm our Nervous System chooses what it knows best

Flight (running away)

Fight (hardening)

Freeze (collapsing)

But with gentle practice, we can widen our capacity. We can stay present even as sensation rise. We can allow our breath to stay open even without emotions swell. We can move with life, instead of against it.

Soft strenght is not passive. It is an active willingness to stay open without abandoning ourselves.

What Softening Looks Like in Daily Life

Softening isn't about giving up on goals, dreams, or boundries. It's about how we move through life or rather how we choose to move through life.

It's about recognising that we can take a little breath before we react so we can respond.

It's about allowing a deep breath before we answer.

It's letting the shoulders drop even while standing strong.

Practice: Tadasana - Mountain Pose, finding your potent posture-finding that sweet balance, your centre of compassion and connection).

It's feeling anger, sadness, or fear - and staying present with it without bracing or collapsing, without pushing it away but actually noticing it, maybe for the first time learning how to be with it, how to befriend it, and learning to name it.

"This sounds dumb, I know, but just saying, 'I'm anxious' can make you less anxious. A recent study used functional magnetic resonance imagining (fMRI) to map the electrical activity in the brains of subjects who were shown a series of pictures of people with different emotional facial expressions. When subjects were shown the pictures only, their amygdalae were activated. But when they were shown the pictures and asked to name the emotions being expressed, the prefrontal cortex was activated and the activity in the amygdala reduced. Also note, the researchers found the less words used the better. 'I'm anxious' should do the trick." -

Sarah Wilson, First, we make the beast beautiful.

Softening is listening to the sensations, softening is learning to stay present without pushing, rushing through or turning away and believe me it ain't always easy but that's why we practice.

So this week I invite you to explore:

In Movement:

As you move through your day, notice where your tension gathers (jaw, shoulders, belly, hips).

Can you pause and just notice? Before you try to relax maybe there is a connection that needs to be made. Maybe the connection is to be made with the tension and just simply allow it to be there. Allow it and welcome it, perhaps before we even start relaxing and inviting the breath in maybe we need to befriend the tension with love and compassion.

In Breath:

Just notice your breath, allow it to be exactly as it is, just simply learn how to be present with your breath. An extra tip if being with your breath makes you feel anxious use a soft ball, placing it under your spine and just move your attention steadily from the ball to your breath, start with short practices.

In Response:

Notice what arises from within in response to various situations, notice the changes, shifts in your responses.

Small practices like simply having an intention and directing your attention inward can start rewiring your system towards greater resilience - and a deeper kind of strenght. Can you stay patient?

Softening without giving up is a practice, not a destination. It's a relationship we built with ourselves, slowly and kindly.

If you like to explore this even more deeply, join me on Friday 9th of May 9:30am on our live community Class. We will be moving with these theme inside our bodies - feeling that alive, resilient strenght that lives in softnes.

You are invited to bring all of yourself:)

YOUR OWN ARRIVAL

Each day, crave a moment

to reflect,

to find vast, blue stillness

within you.

Don't trip on the obstacles.

There is a part of you

that knows the way.

Just nod and follow.

Each time you return here,

you will receive a radiant and warm welcome.

You've been awaiting

your own arrival,

quietly preparing

with attentiveness and love.

There is no formal invitation.

So stop waiting at the shore,

for your grand departure,

and simply walk back inside.

Deborah Anne Quibell